identity theft
by SebonzaMitsuki27
Summary: Kairi, Naminé. Post-game. Would the real girl please sit down?


identity theft

disclaimer: kh is not mine.

* * *

Naminé hates Kairi.

This time, the emotion is real, the feeling, the nauseating sensation of self-loathing which is only part-Kairi, and all-Naminé.

And Kairi cannot blame her, as much as she wants to, because she _understands._ She tries so hard, attempting to go through all Naminé's phases – the jealousy, the anger, the bitterness, the—

* * *

_You stole my life._

**No. Nami, I didn—**

_Don't call me 'Nami'._

* * *

She tries to remain the optimist, by talking to Naminé, the voice inside her head, cheerfully telling her what had happened that day, saying what made her laugh and smile and—

And all Naminé feels is bitterness, her silent anger picked up easily by Kairi.

* * *

**I'm sorry. I didn—**

_Of course you didn't. I know __exactly__ what you meant._

…

_You've forgotten that I am you. I go through __exactly__ what you go through._

…

_Except, I see everything through a glass, darkly._

* * *

Riku notices.

Riku always notices, more perceptive and quiet these days. The darkness has changed him, and sometimes people don't even know he's there, too silent and part of the background. He's not an antisocial. He's not a loner. He's still trying to forgive himself and look after his friends at the same time.

It's not easy, but then it never is.

He approaches Kairi, dark aquamarine eyes gazing into her weary amethyst ones. When she blinks, there is a flicker of piercing blue.

And all Riku does is envelop her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her slim and lithe body. Kairi closes her eyes, returning the hug, feeling much warmer with Riku by her side.

Naminé sighs in contentment, her heart swelling—

* * *

**You love Riku?**

…

**How long?**

… _shouldn't you know the answer to that? After all…_

…

_I __am__ you._

* * *

—and Riku whispers in Kairi's—Naminé's ear, red turning strawberry blonde—

"Stop."

"… what?" And Kairi isn't sure if it's Naminé or herself talking. That word… just escaped her lips. And that's never happened before.

She's shaking, but whether it's in fear, or ire, or sorrow, she cannot tell.

"Naminé. Nami…" Riku murmurs, lips brushing her ears.

Kairi can feel her not-heart thumping harder and harder against her chest, and it's so painful and negative at Kairi that she feels she's going to break. Cheeks blush, hearts break.

Because Naminé wants to be in her place, live her life—

—and Kairi will not let her.

"Stop it."

"… alright." And that's _Naminé_ talking. That's _Naminé_ using her voice to answer Riku, ready to please him.

Because with a heart, Naminé's used it to fall in love with Riku, giving her heart to her silver-haired beauty.

And slowly, the pale girl's presence recedes, fading into corners of darkness, ebbing away like the waves from the ocean.

And the negative aura dissipates; but Kairi is still affected, her skin pale and sallow, her happy demeanour still not fully recovered.

"Riku…" Reluctantly, she lets go of her friend, and merely stares at him, lost. "What happened?"

"…"

"… thank you." She smiles, but Riku understands that it's neither a happy one nor a sad one.

Tears are falling from her eyes before she even blinks, and all Riku can do is watch her, not able to truly sympathize.

After all, he may have lost himself, but he's never been split in two.

Kairi and Naminé. Day and night. Light and shadow.

But he hugs her, and she lets him, breathing his scent in.

For Naminé.

* * *

**Talk to me.**

…

… **please, Naminé.**

…

… **you're still here aren't you?**

* * *

She misses her.

Without Naminé, she isn't whole – but with Naminé she feels incomplete.

Sora looks the same, caught up in his ideas of staying a hero, and becoming an eternal ray of sunshine to everyone.

Kairi giggles at this when she hears it – she already knows that Sora is, and will always be, an eternal ray of sunshine, glowing and shining – a beacon for all those who need or require help.

* * *

_Why don't you just take Sora then?_

**Naminé?**

* * *

She's convinced she's heard her.

Kairi knows that Naminé's still there.

But Naminé won't answer her.

She confides in Riku, and he listens, drinking in each and every word that is emitted from her mouth.

He's become so good at reading her, being there when she needs him, holding her when she feels lonely.

She wonders if he's finally forgiven himself.

She hopes so.

She's becoming happier, just as he is, more comfortable in her presence, as he is in hers.

Laughter begins to fill the air, along with smiles and silences that bear no awkwardness.

But the limited contact is awkward, the blushes that come along with it.

And everything ends, the waves return back to land…

… the moment Kairi kisses Riku.

* * *

_I hate you._

**Na-Naminé?**

_You shouldn't have done that._

**But I… you…**

_You'll regret it._

* * *

When she looks at the mirror, she nearly screams.

Because there's no amethyst-eyed, strawberry haired mirror-girl staring back at her – instead, there's a pale girl, with pale yellow hair and pale blue eyes, with a murderous intent in her eyes.

And Kairi can feel hate pouring out of her so much that it drains her, exhausting her, like the darkness that flows invisibly through her veins – it shouldn't be there, but it is – and even though she wants to scream, she can't.

Naminé won't let her.

* * *

**What are you—**

_I'm taking control._

**Why?**

_Because I should be living the life you have._

* * *

She wakes up disorientated every morning, finding ink stains carved on her flesh, like _fake – copy – replica_, she scrubs her skin hard in the shower, marking her skin red and bruised, frantic attempts to wash away Naminé.

But she knows that it won't work.

In dreams, Naminé taunts her, seeing through her eyes and controlling her actions. With controlled hands, Naminé takes her wrists and moves her, like a doll, reacting and enacting her movements until Kairi begins to break.

She taunts. She jibes. She cackles.

Larxene's torture methods takes its full blow once Naminé joined, receiving her heart.

But Kairi says nothing, keeping her screams inside her.

Naminé will not get that pleasure.

But, Naminé will break her.

That promise is painted on their heart.

* * *

…

_You're so stupid, you know._

…

_That's my talent you're borrowing._

* * *

She begins to draw, attempting to bring life to Naminé through her artwork.

Instead of pleasing the mirror girl, there is only sultry looks in the reflection, a blink of the eye.

Riku understands, never commenting on them, his fingers pressing the paper, almost willing them to come to life. But he never says anything.

Because, now, Naminé wouldn't listen to him, her anger too uprooted to do anything.

Other people gasp and jealously flick through her yellow sketchbook, casting envious glances at the 'artist'.

But the artworks are never as good as Naminé's.

It is a pathetic attempt of trying to make someone feel better.

And so, Naminé continues in her slow revenge, controlling Kairi just a little bit more, her movements more like Naminé, and less like Kairi.

Riku cannot do anything, except whisper in her ear:

"Stay strong."

And Kairi believes him.

Until Naminé tells her that Riku is talking to her.

* * *

**Why are you saying this to me?**

_Because you're the fake!_

**No… that's you.**

_How do you __know__?_

* * *

She breaks mirrors and cannot sleep. She retracts into herself, hanging around Riku and Sora, joining Riku often, and watching a smiling Sora play with swordfights with Tidus and Wakka and Selphie.

Riku holds her and it used to be enough.

Now there's paranoia deeply etched inside her with cruel words, her mind distorted by poisonous taunts that came with torture, and Kairi wonders… if Riku's doing an act, feigning closeness to Kairi to get to Naminé.

Because, now, Kairi isn't as sure as she used to be.

And Riku cannot help her.

* * *

**Because… I'm the one in their memories.**

_How do you not know that I changed them? Erased them?_

**I…**

_I can do that. You know I can._

**But…**

_You're the __fake__. I'm the __real__. When are you going to accept that?_

* * *

The dreams have turned violent. And there is no more Naminé. Instead there is only Larxene, the sadistic woman.

She _enjoys_ doing this to the girl. Her wide lips curve, salt on the girl's wound.

Who is she?

Naminé? Kairi?

Kairi? Naminé?

When she wakes up, several dreams, several nightmares, later, she realizes that it's not a dream.

It's a _memory._

And the guilt sinks in even more.

* * *

**Stop.**

_Why should I? Since you've taken everything away from __me__… I'm taking everything away from __you__._

**Don't.**

_Too late._

…

_I tried, Kai. I tried to like you. But with a heart, it's just so much harder to forgive._

* * *

She shakes, she stutters, she cries.

She doesn't draw in colour anymore – that was Naminé's forte.

Instead, she draws in black and white, pencil and paper, charcoal and chalk – any two colours that conflict and contrast in each other.

And Riku finally comments on her drawings, kissing her cheek, saying that these ones reflect her, and that they're honest.

Kairi smiles.

Naminé seethes.

A second later, Riku apologizes, sensing the darkened emotion.

And Naminé smugly convinces her that Riku only said that to make her feel better – that it is only her talent that Kairi is using.

Kairi wants to cry.

Naminé won't let her.

Not in front of Riku.

* * *

**Stop.**

_Stop? Why?_

**Just stop it!**

_But… it's so much fun!_

* * *

Everything breaks when Kairi sees herself in the cracked mirror, the shards showing her reflection, broken as it is.

Because her hair is blonde, pale as a dead sun, pale as withering flowers and wheat.

Her eyes may still be amethyst, but the beautiful effect is lost without her startling shade of red hair.

They've been fighting for so long, standing up and shouting, each claiming to be the "real girl" that they've been lost in a web of lies and deceit. Anger and self-loathing bubbled, the introverted side of them keeping them locked and trapping their prison.

After all, this is all in their head.

And she screams and she screams and she screams.

And Naminé lets her, joining her.

* * *

**Just…**

… _let…_

… _**go.**_

* * *

Riku finds her in her room, sitting down, curled up protectively in the dark.

She's finally forgiven herself.

And the retribution is the shell of an amnesiac girl.

* * *

_**I am who I am.**_

* * *

_**who am i?**_

* * *


End file.
